Having just read dr. write's remarks about having a 24/7 anxiety attack, I feel a little bit better about my own 24/7 state of anxiety.
I am in the middle of applying for a phd program--well, a week away from the application deadline. In some ways, I planned ahead. The letters of recommendation have been sent, the general grad school application has been submitted, the transcripts have been sent, the gre has been taken (again!--clearly I've become a total dufus in the past ten years so my old scores just won't do). All of that is good. But what hasn't been done?
uh, a letter of intent and a writing sample. The letter has a good draft, so I can finish that up tomorrow. It's fine and does what it needs to do. But the writing sample. my god. If I were an organized person, I would just submit some writing from my master's, like say my thesis. But no, I have no idea where the thing is. I had the option to do a "project" which was exactly like a thesis, but I didn't have to meet any of the graduate school's expectations or deadlines, which basically means the thesis didn't get bound. Which means is became a stack of papers. Which means it is lost somewhere in my endless stacks of papers. And since I wrote the thesis eight years ago, the digital version is either a) on a floppy disk or b) on a zip drive.
Also, since my job is all about teaching, I have not done any substantial academic writing in the last eight years. So, I am trying to expand a conference presentation I did on plagiarism. It's an interesting topic and the draft is sort of working, but I seriously don't know how to do this kind of writing any more. What happened to my complex sentences, my ability to build an argument, my ease with integrating sources. Even the mystery novel I'm currently reading (The Somnambulist) uses more complex language than I seem to be capable of.
I am usually a procrastinator, but this I have not been procrastinating. I'm just way too busy and way to out of practice. Hopefully by the end of tonight (when will that be exactly?) I will have a not-too-crappy draft. Then I will try to edit furiously in order to get it sent off by the end of the week. Oh yes, and I will also grade like 4000 student papers.
Wish me luck. The good thing is that my paper references Vanilla Ice, Maurice Sendak, Jonathan Lethem, and DJ Spooky. It can't be bad, right?
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9 comments:
Academic writing hard. Academic writing make use big verbs. Academic writing make big sentences, big ideas.
Good luck. Your essay sounds interesting. Perhaps you will post excerpts on the blog?
It sounds brilliant. And yes, you do want a PhD. Because you will be jobable with your PhD. And then you and Will can basically be the smartest kids in your cul de sac. And that's worth something, right?
Plus you guys are attractive and outdoorsy. And you can cook. So you've got not only the whole package, but like two extra. You're like a triple package in two.
In any case, good luck with your application.
Yes, absolutely good luck on the application and the writing. I have cynical things to say about phds and academic writing which I will keep to myself, because after all, I'm pretty sure it's just sour grapes. I will ask you the million questions I have about all of this the next time I see you in the flesh.
I assumed you were going to get a teaching job; what an adventure. Good luck with the writing sample.
lisa b., I have cynical things to say about academic writing and phds too. writing this essay sort of feels like torture. it's interesting, but still torture. I think the only thing that makes me happy about the draft is that it starts out with a quote from vanilla ice.
Starts out with a quote from Vanilla Ice?
As the composition scholar Vanilla Ice said,
"Ice, ice, baby. Ice, ice, baby.
All right stop, collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? yo -- I dont know
Turn off the lights and Ill glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle."
well, not exactly that quote MB, but an equally good contribution from mr. vanilla.
I'll second lisa b's cyncial thoughts about PhDs and academic writing: I didn't have a bad experience with the PhD or anything, but it just seems like an awful lot of bluster about stuff that doesn't really matter all that much. Still, I very much enjoyed the whole PhD process. It was just after that I found disappointing (although I enjoy being called doctor--that's something, right??)
Here's hoping that your experience is a good one!
I'm somewhat expecting my phd experience to me lame and disappointing, so maybe that will make it better?
of course, maybe they'll think I'm so lame and disappointing that I won't even get in.
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