I need new shoes!

I know women are supposed to love shoes or something like that, but not me. I'd rather not wear shoes at all. When I go into a shoe store I usually leave crying. There are no shoes that I like. They are all too high or too shimmery or adorned with too much frippery. Or they are too frumpy. Can't there be something in between? I hate buying shoes so much that I usually just keep wearing the same pair until they fall apart, which happened today.

At some point during my day, I felt a flip, flip on the side of my foot and looked down to find the sole of my shoe falling off. I went barefoot (well, I was wearing tights) for my afternoon class and tossed the shoes into the garbage. I have other shoes, but they are all falling apart in some way or another. I have a pair of boots that I've had for 10 years. The soles are falling off, even though I've had them "repaired" at least twice. I love them, though, and will never get rid of them. I have a pair of too-big flip flops that belonged to Will's ex-girlfriend. It's a desperate situation.

So if anyone knows where I can get a pair of shoes that are decent looking, but not too girly or flashy please let me know. Maybe we can schedule a group shoe-buying excursion like we had in Chicago for Jason. I need help too! Please, it's almost winter.

experienced teacher, grumpy teacher

There's no question that I'm a more capable teacher now than I was when I began teaching eleven years ago. I am better at anticipating students' questions. I can build a class discussion out of next to nothing (mostly because I am better at filling up time with my own blather). I'm better at reading my students and adapting my practices. But I am also unquestionably a grumpier teachier. I have less patience for questions like: when are we going to write something fun? when is this assignment due? did I miss anything important? I can barely stand it when students hand me a stack of loose papers when I've specifically reminded them (in writing and in person) to bring a folder or a paper clip.

I'm not always grumpy. There are moments when I think my students are charming and brilliant. Last night, while responding to drafts, I actually found myself excited to read the next one. But overall, I am much more of a grump.

So I wonder whether the increased grumpiness negates the increased capability. What makes a better teacher, after all? Effective classroom management or non-grumpiness? I think I'm going to get Will to plot this all on his fancy math program, to see the interactions between increased skill and increased jadedness.

the week in review: aka, I have nothing really good to say

I Like Being Old. Although Dr. Write is trying to pretend she's not old, I want to declare that I love being old (well, older). I hate going to parties. I have always hated going to parties. Ok, I like some parties, the ones where I know all the people and I get to eat good food and talk to the people I don't know--or not talk at all if I don't want to. What I hate are the parties where I don't know anyone and I am supposed to talk to new people and there are more things to drink than there are things to eat. I do not like those parties, but I used to feel obligated to go. Because if I didn't go I would be lame and not have any friends or not meet any men or whatever. But now I am old. I have friends. I have a man. I don't care if people think I'm lame. So I don't have to go. Which I didn't last night. Instead I stayed at home and watched Breach, the movie about uber-spy Robert Hanssen. I ate Ben and Jerry's and drank beer. I didn't have to talk to anyone.


Creepy Men Pick-ups. This was the week to get hit on. Not all by creepy men, but I hate gettiing hit on. Even if I were single. Even if I were getting hit on by Doug Fabrizio or hottie climber Chris Sharma. I hate it when strange men talk to me. Leave me alone!


The most humbling moment of the week. One of the writers in a writing group I work with has severe cerebral palsy and so has a significant speech impediment. She's been working on her speech and making great improvements. Yesterday, she told me she'd spent an entire evening practicing my name. It's pretty amazing to me that someone would devote so much time just to pronounce my name correctly.